Earlier in the week, I arrived home from work around the usual time. Whilst emptying my pockets of the day’s contents and undressing, I pressed the power button on my notebook to bring it out of its state of hibernation.

After the screen lit and the system whirred to life, the little white balloon I had been anticipating for around a week finally appeared. When the moment arrived I realised that despite some effort, no real contingency plan existed for this inevitable day. The neighbours and unwitting providers of my internet service since late last year moved away and with it my connectivity.

I had already planned on visiting the office of the Leon County Supervisor of Elections the following day to update my voter registration card—Sunday being the cut-off for eligibility in the primaries and all. Before leaving on that trek, I mapped the location of the one and only Embarq—the telecom formerly known as Sprint—retail store in Tallahassee.

My mission was simple: peruse the in-store marketing materials, ask a few questions of a customer service representative and get back to the office. Slightly more than twenty minutes after entering the store, I was strolling back out in to the parking lot, DSL modem in hand.

My unending frustration with the quality of service I have received from Cingular Wireless, the cellular provider forced upon me by AT&T Wireless’ acquisition, has prompted me to think about moving on to other providers. The more I thought about it though, the more I realised that I could very easily move away from cellular service all together.

Combined with my lack of enthusiasm for Comcast’s overpriced cable broadband service and my non-desire to have television service other than that provided by my DVD player and VCR, migrating to a traditional land line telephone and DSL service seemed like a logical step. Throw in a decent telephone/internet package on special due to Embarq’s newness and you have an unbeatable deal.

It is thus my pleasure to announce the immediate discontinuance of my mobile telephone service. Calls and SMS text messages sent to my “current” number will be redirected to /null/ some time today, 05 August 2006. My new telephone number is 850.222.4747.

Those who know me understand the significance of the forty-seven. I am still rather pleased I was able to select such a personalized and easy-to-remember set of digits. Hooray for small talk with the Embarq guy, who I’ll add was more than a little pleased when I told him he did not have to give me the “new DSL customer” technical walk through.

I should probably mention that while I can change my mind at any time, given the raw amount of telephone talking I (do not) do, I elected to go with the $0.10 per-minute long distance plan. If you get any one-ring missed calls from my number, I am just being cheap so give me a call back. Remember, the system exists so people can work it.

So far both services have performed nicely. The voicemail system is intuitive and the internet was literally plug and play. You have to love things that just work, especially when you are in the industry. The only blip so far is not even an issue per se, but more an “oh, ok” kinda deal—my packets travel to Orlando before going up to Atlanta and on to the world. While I would love a few less hops between here and my web server outside of New York City, the added routes do not constitute a major detour.

It feels good and rebellious to be abandoning the technology so intertwined in our “need it now” society. I concluded that most of my telephone conversations happen in the one place I am free and clear to have them: my couch. So why not give up the portable “sounds like 56k streaming audio” phone? Cost is certainly not the reason as my land line and internet service combined will be only slightly more per month than my mobile-only bill.

Needless to say, I could not be happier with my decision. But no tale of technology on Mount Sutro would be complete without a visit from our friend, Mr. Irony. In a final gesture of appreciation and dedication to service, Cingular offered me one final hurrah. If I had not already made the decision to cancel my service, I surely would have after this.

Simply put, I do not want to be charged past the current billing cycle. The plan was to call and schedule my cancellation on or before the final date in my cycle and to use the balance of my peak minutes before then.

The call went smoothly and everything seemed in order… until I hung up. No bars. No service ID message. Nothing. And then a message indicating to me the network no longer recognized my SIMM. The bastards had cut me off immediately!

I called back and after waiting on hold for a bit, was connected to someone to whom I expelled my displeasure. She was very nice, apologetic and efficient in getting my service restored. At the close of the call she informed me that I needed to call on the day I wanted to cancel, as their billing software was incapable of scheduling cancellations in advance.

To this I replied, “Okay, I understand. But you might want to tell your manager the person I spoke with before you was obviously unaware of this fact.”

Later today when I make the call, it will be for real. So long and thanks for all the fish, even if they were dropped.

One Comment on “The Paradigm Shift”

1. Joe Mamma
   

   You truly are a strange bird. I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU!!! Peace in the East homey.

   Wednesday, 13 September 2006, 1701   link

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