The headlight problem turned out to be a little more complex than I had anticipated. Whoever designed the engine compartment of the 1996 Honda Civic failed to take into consideration the installation and removal of the driver-side headlamp when placing large objects that do not remove easily directly behind it. This process of taking the power plug off, removing and replacing the lamp and plugging the power back in is quite a feat. Last time it took me two greasy hands, one bloody finger and about thirty to forty-five minutes.

I suspect that because the high beam of the bunk headlamp still works when asked to, that the wires connected to the low beam are simply not working. In any event, I have not been particularly looking forward to this project and therefore, like a good boy, have been putting it off.

Driving towards my destination, I peer in the rear-view and what do I see? Yes, more officers coming to get me.

Another bored Altamonte Springs city cop, he was not as nice as the others were. He looked rather young, too. Either way he must have been a rookie because he had to radio in my tag, driver's license and information rather than just use a laptop in his car connected to the FCIC/NCIC/DHSMV network.

Law Enforcement Officer: Good evening. May I have your driver's license and insurance.

Me: Sure. May I ask what this is about?

LEO: Yeah, your headlight's out.

Me: Yes, I know. I need to repair it.

LEO: Is your license suspended for any reason?

Me: Uh, no.

LEO: Ok, hold tight.

At this point, the LEO walks back to his car, sits on his hood (of his police-issued Chevrolet Impala … mmm … Impala) and radios in my information. He walks back to me, patiently sitting in my car waiting for him to wish me a good night. No, the third pullover could not possible be that easy!

LEO: Do you have any guns, drugs or weapons in the car?

Me: Uh, no.

LEO: Would you object to my searching your vehicle for illegal substances and items?

Me: Why, yes, actually I would object. I do not have anything illegal in this car. You would just be wasting both of our time.

LEO: *stares, somewhat shocked I refused*

Me: If I refuse, how does that affect this situation?

LEO: Well, it could be interpreted as coercion if I told you that, but since you seem pretty cool, I will tell you. If you consent to my search and I find nothing, you leave here and go on your way. If you do not consent to the search, I detain you, call the K9 unit out and they do a search of your car. Plus, as that search is taking place, I write you out a citation for the faulty equipment.

Me: You are an asshole! Fine, search the car.

I exit my car and stand where he tells me to stand. He gets ready to get inside and then stops to tell me this…

LEO: Let me explain something else, too. If you tell me right now that you have something in this car, you will get a notice to appear for a misdemeanour. That is all. If I find anything and you did not tell me about it, you are going to jail. Ok?

Me: *nods* Yup, sure.

LEO: Now, I know I am not going to find anything because you do not seem like the type.

Me: Well, fuck you buddy. Why the hell are you searching my fucking car then? *snicker*

He searches the seats, floor and centre console with his little flashlight while I stand by watching. More amused than pissed actually, but only slightly. He exits the car after a minute or two.

LEO: Well, if you had anything in there, which I believe you don't, I could not find it. Plus, my flashlight just died. So, here is your driver's license and stuff back.

Me: Ok, thanks. *roll eyes*

We chatted for another moment because I felt it necessary to feel like I was testing him. I admitted I was already familiar with his ability to search my vehicle regardless because he did indeed have probable cause to initiate the traffic stop. He was a little shocked when I started throwing his LEO terms right back at him. After that, he got a little nicer, but I was leaving anyway. I waved to him as I drove off. Pompous dick.

I am surprised he did not arrest me anyway for "suspicion of terrorism" and hold me without the benefit of due process, counsel or being formally charged. Oh, wait. That is a rant an entry for another day.

I, like any other website manager or owner, checks from time to time the statistics that are automatically gathered about the site, including numbers of hits, referrers, most popular times of day, etc. Mine also list what search engine phrases or words people looked for to eventually get to my site.

In addition to the keywords and description of the site I have provided, search engines will automatically visit, scan and record words written on the site. Many personal site commentaries will occasionally include amusing such search terms, often relating to nothing on the site they visited.

Straight men and lesbians around the world must be getting awfully pissed off at me these days. Click Here to see what happens if you search for the phrase "Playboy™ Lingerie Calendar" at Google.com.

Search Results: Page One, Site Two.

And according to the statistics, there are many people who visit looking for that content. Ha!

Either television and film composer John Williams or regular project partner, director Steven Spielberg has a special place in their heart for late nineteenth century classical composer Antonín Dvorák (1841 — 1904).

As I was laying down to go to sleep, I was listening to local NPR affiliate, WMFE 90.7 FM, noted for their concentration and dedication to not only classical, but also international, new age and other non-mainstream forms of music. The announcer stated they were going to play the rather famous "New World" symphonies by Dvorák and so it began with Symphony Number 7 in D minor, Op. 70. As it played on, I was stirred from my impending sleep by it sounding familiar to me. Not because I own copies of Dvorák's best known pieces, but because it sounded similar to something it should not have: a mainstream recording.

I picked it out immediately. The theme, rhythm and possibly even the notes themselves were remarkably similar to portions of the John Williams soundtrack to film Catch Me If You Can. A second portion of Symphony Number 7 (or perhaps 8, because I was not entirely sure where one stopped and the other began) sounded like one of the other themes in Catch Me If You Can.

I am not placing blame or making accusations as far as a lack of originality on behalf of Williams, but the similarity was enough to draw my attention to it whilst attempting to sleep. What really got me on this tangent was when during a movement of Symphony Number 9 I heard what could only be a precursor to the Jaws theme.

Of course, Williams scored the Jaws film soundtrack as well. And lest I forget the fact that Spielberg directed both films. If I am crazy and am simply drawing patterns where none intentionally exists, so be it; there are only so many notes, patterns and ways to perform music. But, if I am correct in my conclusion that there was some inspiration here, I cannot think of a classical composer I would rather see receive a modern-day nod.

In a shocking amount of time, not only did I get a reply from Gateway regarding my BIOS issue, but it was not complete bullshit, either, as Matt suggested and I expected it would be.

Hello David,

Thank you for your e-mail. From what you have described, I see that you need the BIOS upgrade for Windows XP.

Gateway has started shipping systems which are Windows XP ready or have Microsoft Windows XP pre-installed. At this time, Gateway is still in the process of testing and certifying existing Gateway hardware device drivers and BIOS upgrades to make them Windows XP compatible. These drivers and BIOS revisions will be posted to the Gateway Web site as soon as they are available. Please watch gateway.com for the latest Gateway-related Windows XP announcements.

I have documented this correspondence in Service Request Number ***** in our contact tracking database. Please use this number in the future if you need to contact us again regarding this issue.

Please reply to this message if you require further assistance with this issue.

Thank you,

Maggie (Badge *****)
Gateway Online Customer Support Team

No, not the answer that would help me, but certainly better than what I expected. Maybe this sort of service and support is a result of their having ditched local Lake Mary outfit Convergys as their outsourced global support provider.

After just becoming aware of his existence through a friend of Mount Sutro, I thought it would be nice to share the artwork of New York native, Spencer Tunick.

If you check out his site, which maintains a collection of all his photography, you will soon see a template to his work: public nudity. However, it is the manner in which each photograph is taken, with careful consideration given to all of the surroundings in question, that make these photographs really amazing to me.

Further, the lengths Tunick has gone through in order to make his art, which he proclaims is "not good art, not bad art; just art," are extraordinary. His "about" page fully details his trials and tribulations which included several arrests, his suing the City of New York and his eventual win on the basis of his First Amendment Constitutional rights in the Supreme Court of the United States.

A particular news article discusses how the residents of the City of Montreal, who did not file a protest against the outdoor photo session, flocked in great number to participate in what many called an energizing and freeing experience.

I am not suggesting I am going to be the first in line to participate in this art should the opportunity present itself, but I am glad to see nudity becoming less and less of a faux pas in modern society, especially for the sake of irrefutably non-indecent acts.

Sent via the Gateway online "E-Mail a Tech" form:

I have experienced several instances of system crashes as a result of a known incompatibility between BIOS, ACPI and Windows XP. This is a documented issue and according to Microsoft, is to be fixed at the BIOS manufacturer level.

The following linked article explains the issue, the reasoning behind it and the solutions recommended by Microsoft.

http://microsoft.com/hwdev/tech/onnow/BIOSAMLP.asp

My question is whether Gateway has any plans to offer BIOS upgrades that support the modifications discussed in order to increase system stability for older computers running Windows XP, or if backward compatibility was not to be extended to systems as old as mine (purchased in mid-1999).

Thank you,
David July

Why is it that I already think I know the response from Gateway regarding the above?